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Oh, and the gossip – escorts hear EVERYTHING. One told me this quarterback was crying pre-game, like, mascara-running vibes (he didn’t wear mascara, but still). I’m like, “What’s this beauty that never fades?” – quoting my fave movie again, duh. Surprised me, tho, ‘cos these big dudes? Softies! Escorts are lowkey therapists, swear. They’re all, “Move, boo, you got this!” – ugh, love that hustle.

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So, I roll outta bed, grab my coffee (obviously), and head out. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be lit!” I stroll down Storgatan, feeling all kinds of good vibes. But then, bam! I trip over a loose cobblestone. Classic me, right? I’m like, “Really, Raettvik? You wanna start this way?”

Figure 5. Killian Zoll, Midsummer Dance at Rättvik, 1852....