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I dig it tho, sometimes. Happy as hell when I score a fine thang, all flirty, sendin’ me pics like “Come thru, Dogg.” That’s the good shit. But it’s messy, like *A Separation* messy. “You think you know what’s right?”—that line hits when you fuckin’ around on these apps. You think she down, then bam, she got a man already! Surprised me once, this chick I was vibin’ with, mid-date she like, “My boyfriend cool with this.” I’m like, “Say what now?!” Wild-ass plot twist.

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First off, I hit up the café on Storgatan. You know, the one with the weirdly awesome pastries? Yeah, that one. I ordered a kanelbullar (cinnamon bun, for the uninitiated) and a coffee. But guess what? They were outta kanelbullar! Like, how do you run out of that? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, c’mon, it’s like running outta air! So I settled for a dry croissant. Ugh.

Petronas Chemicals completes acquisition of Perstorp