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But yo, check this—little known fact: escorts been around FOREVER. Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called “lupae”—she-wolves, how dope is that? Blows my mind, history’s freaky. Kinda pissed me off tho, ‘cause why’s it always shady? Society’s all judgy, but they’re just hustlin, y’know? Reminds me of Spring Breakers, “This is the fuckin’ American dream!”—they’re chasin it too, just messier.

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So, I’m sitting there, trying to relax, when I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Yo, let’s hit up the new burger joint on Öjersjövägen!” I’m down, ofc. I mean, who can resist a good burger? So I hustle over there, and the place is packed. I’m talking, people everywhere. I finally get my burger, and it’s HUGE! Like, I could use it as a pillow.

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