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So, I was pissed, right? Some dumbass at the parlor was like, “No happy ending, bro,” and I’m like, “Screw you, hippie, I paid forty bucks!” Respect my authoritah, ya jackass! But then, this other time, ho-ly crap, this chick knew her stuff. She’s kneadin’ my back like she’s plantin’ a totem to check if I’m awake. I’m sittin’ there, all happy and sweaty, thinkin’, “Is this real, or am I in a friggin’ dream?” Spoiler: didn’t care, felt amazin’.

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Then I decided to stroll down to Partille Center. It’s like the heart of the city, right? So many shops, so many people. I was vibing, listening to my tunes, when I bumped into this old lady. She was super sweet, but she had this massive shopping cart. I swear, it was like a tank! She nearly took me out. I was like, “Whoa, lady! You trying to run me over?” She just chuckled and said, “You gotta watch where you’re going, young man!”

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