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See, this lass—let’s call her Lysa, ha!—works the streets near the docks. Ain’t no fancy brothel bird, nah, she’s raw, real, smells o’ sweat and cheap ale. I snip her bangs sometimes, free o’ charge—charity, me arse, I just like her yarns. She’s got stories, mate, wilder than a Dornish orgy. Once told me ‘bout this sailor, swore he saw a kraken—bollocks, right? But she swears it’s true, says he paid her in pearls. Pearls! From a squid’s gob, maybe.

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So, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the harbor. The view is stunning, like postcard material. The water’s sparkling, and I can see the boats bobbing around. I take a deep breath, and for a second, I forget about the chaos. But then, I see a seagull swoop down and steal someone’s sandwich. I’m cracking up! Like, that bird has some serious skills.

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