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So, here’s the deal—erotic-massage ain’t just some backrub from your Aunt Sheila who’s got arthritis and bad aim. Nah, it’s this whole *thing*. Sensual, slippery, hands everywhere—like, *everywhere*. Little known fact: it’s been around forever, man! Ancient Rome had these bathhouses where they’d slather ya in oil, rub ya down, and probably whisper sweet nothings in Latin. “Veni, vidi, vici,” but make it sexy, ya know? I read that somewhere—blew my mind! Imagine Caesar gettin’ a happy ending—wild!

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So, I’m caffeine-less and heading to a meeting at the Osby Kulturhus. I’m pumped, right? Gonna talk about community events, get people hyped. But then, I hit a snag. The road’s blocked on Östra Storgatan. Some construction crew is digging up the street like they’re looking for buried treasure or something. I’m stuck in traffic, and I’m like, “Great, just great.”

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