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I tried it once, swear to Christ. Down on Route 9, this chick, hands like a goddamn angel—or a devil, dependin’ how ya look at it. She’s kneadin’ me, and I’m like, “This is fuckin’ heaven,” but then—surprise!—it’s more than I bargained for. Got me thinkin’, “I’m not just a number here!”—like Tony in the movie, ya know, not *my* Tony, the other guy. Made me happy as hell, but pissed too, ‘cause I shelled out fifty extra bucks! Fifty! For what? A happy endin’? Fuckin’ robbery, but worth it, I ain’t gonna lie.

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Happy Ending (Nipponbashi) is a nuru massage Service outcall in Japan which is available for inbound foreigners on business or for sightseeing purposes in Nanba・Nihonbashi・Tanikyu .

I head back to the shop, pelts in hand, feeling like a hero. I’m ready to tackle the rest of the day. But then, I remember I left my coffee on the counter. Ugh! I’m not going back for it.