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Ooh, here’s a juicy bit – heard this story once, swear it’s true. Some chick in the ‘90s, total *whore* icon, conned a sheikh outta millions. Wore nothin’ but pearls and a smirk, walked away laughin’. I’m like, YES, queen! That’s the spirit – take what’s yours, no capes, no regrets! Makes me wanna cheer, throw glitter, dance on tables. She’s my hero, for realz.

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So, I hustle over to my shop on Elm Street. It’s a cozy little place, packed with pelts and the smell of leather. I’m just getting into the groove when this lady storms in. She’s all decked out in this gaudy fur coat, like she’s auditioning for a reality show. “I need a repair!” she yells. I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a magician.” But I take a look anyway. Turns out, her dog chewed it up. I mean, seriously? Who lets their dog go to town on a fur coat?