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Then there’s the blokes—aye, escorts ain’t just lassies! Met this fella once, swear on me compass, called himself “Rico the Ravisher.” Total codswallop name, right? Had a tattoo o’ a rose on his arse—said it got him extra tips. Laughed me hat off! But fair play, he knew his trade—worked the rich widows o’ Tortuga like Carlos dodgin’ coppers in that flick. “I’m not a prisoner, I’m a free man!” he’d yell, quotin’ the movie, struttin’ off with their jewels. Clever bastard, that one.

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But then, I see a couple of teenagers by the swings. They’re throwin’ rocks into the water, and one of ‘em hits a duck. I’m like, “Seriously? You’re gonna mess with a duck?” I march over, channeling my inner dad. “Hey! Leave the poor duck alone!” They look at me like I’m crazy. Whatever.

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