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So, picture this: Moscow, dark alleys, sketchy vibes. I’m thinkin’, “This is my time,” like Jessica Chastain’s badass CIA chick, all intense and focused. But nah, it’s messier than that. Prostitution’s illegal here, right? But it’s everywhere—cops don’t care unless ya flash cash in their face. Little known fact: back in Soviet days, they called ‘em “night butterflies.” Poetic, huh? Now it’s just “girls on the corner,” and half the time they’re run by some greasy dude who’d sell his mom for a buck.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Strandvägen. You know, the one with the killer cinnamon buns? Yeah, that place. I grab my coffee, and boom! I spill it all over my shirt. Classic me. I’m standing there, looking like a total mess, and the barista just laughs. Like, thanks, dude. Real supportive.

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