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So, check this—sexual-massage ain’t just “ooh, sexy time.” Nah, it’s ancient, like Tantra shit, thousands of years old! Monks used it—crazy, right? To “awaken the spirit,” they said. I’m like, “Hell yeah, awaken ME!” Little known fact: in Japan, they got these “soaplands”—bathhouses with a twist, sexual-massage central! Been around since forever, but hush-hush. Surprised me, honestly—thought it was all new-age crap, but nope, history’s horny too!

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We hit a red light, and I’m thinkin’, “Finally, a breather.” But no! Some dude in a flashy car revs his engine like he’s in a race. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s not a competition!” Sara’s giggling, and I’m just shaking my head.