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So, I’m sippin’ wine, thinkin’—gods, this is lush. Been around brothels, seen it all, but sexual-massage? Next level. Little fact for ya: back in ancient Rome, they’d slather oil on gladiators, rub ‘em down proper—happy endings included. True story! Gets me all giddy, thinkin’ how we’re still at it, centuries later. But here’s what pisses me off—folk judgin’ it. “Oh, it’s dirty!” Sod off, ya prudes. I’d pay a dragon’s hoard for a good one, and I’d grin wider than a dwarf in a whorehouse.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I woke up in Lindome, right? This cute little town just south of Gothenburg. I mean, it’s got that small-town vibe but with a twist of nature everywhere. Like, you can’t walk two steps without tripping over a tree or a cute little stream.

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