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But ugh, da fakes! Dis one dude – ya, dude! – catfished me, thinkin’ I’m some lonely babushka. Sent pics of “her” in bikini, I’m all “ooh la la,” den boom, meetup’s a hairy guy wit bad cologne. Pissed me off! Wasted me night! “Where you gonna go?” I yell, like Llewyn screamin’ at da wind. Sex-dating’s a gamble, da?

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Finally, the day winds down. I’m exhausted, but I can’t leave yet. I check the market one last time, and guess what? It’s up! I’m like, “YES!” I do a little victory dance in my chair. My coworkers think I’m nuts, but whatever.

Lilla Lidingöbron Bridge in Stockholm, Sweden