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About Helsingborg

Precious, yesss, escort, we knows it! Sneaky little hobbitses hiring escorts, eh? Me, Gollum, Assistant Secretary, hissss, I sees what they don’t! Escort’s like them boats in *The New World* – “a vessel to carry us!” Fancy folk payin’ for company, ha! Not love, nooo, just a shadow, a tricksss. Me likes it, me hates it – split, see?

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Then I decided to stroll down to the park by the river. It’s called Kvisslebyån, and it’s pretty dope. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and I was vibin’. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and splashes mud all over my new kicks. I was like, “Dude, what’s your problem?” I mean, come on!