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About Malmo

Me? I’d be swipin’ like a maniac, cacklin’ at the weirdos. Probs exaggerate my bio— “Undead stud, 6 centuries experience!” Ha! Sex-dating’s a circus, fam—clowns, freaks, the works. You dive in, it’s a gamble. Might score, might flop. “All I have left is this pain,” Georges moans—dramatic, sure, but I feel that after a bad date. Total trainwreck sometimes! Still, it’s a rush—keeps ya alive, ya know? Or undead, in my case. It’s showtime, bitches—go get laid or get played!

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First call? Some dude’s freaking out about his cat. “My cat’s stuck in a tree!” he yells. I’m like, “Bro, it’s a cat. It’ll come down.” But no, he insists I send a rescue team. I’m just here like, “Dude, I’m a telephone operator, not a cat whisperer!”

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