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About Malmo

Oi, you lot, listen up! Me, a swineherd? Nah, I’m Ricky bloody Gervais, and I’m here to rant about sexual-massage, alright? Sexual-massage – what a posh wank that sounds like! Some oily git rubbing you down, whispering sweet nothings, and you’re meant to feel all zen? Bollocks! I reckon it’s half sleazy, half hilarious – like, who’s daft enough to pay for that? Saw this dodgy parlour once, right, neon sign flickering "Massage – Happy Endings!" – made me cackle so hard I nearly choked on me pint. Proper grim, that was.

Om (Jiraphon's Thai Massage)

Foot Fetish; Sex in Different Positions; Prostate Massage; Striptease/Lapdance; Intimate massage; Cum in Mouth; Blowjob without Condom; Pornstar Experience.

But then, just as I was riding that high, my phone buzzed. My agent was calling. I answered, and she was like, “We need to talk about your next gig.” My heart sank. I thought I was finally getting a break! Turns out, it’s a last-minute shoot in Stockholm. Like, can’t a person catch a break?

Press invitation: Join the Swedish navy in Nato operation