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So I’m knackered, right, but I’m thinkin’—why not hit up a banya? Them steam baths where blokes get sloshed and chat shite. Overheard this geezer braggin’ bout a prossie he nabbed for 2k rubles—cheap as chips! Said she sang opera while ridin’ him—proper mental, that. Made me chuckle, coz I’m picturin’ her beltin’ out *Carmen* mid-shag. “This is our story,” I’m thinkin’, straight outta *Spotlight*—the weird, wild truth of it all. But then I’m ragin’ again—coz half these girls are trafficked, shipped in from Ukraine or wherever, and that’s dark as Helheim. Ain’t funny, that bit.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pourin’. Like, seriously? I’m soaked in seconds. I dash for cover, but not before I see this kid slip and fall right in a puddle. I can’t help but laugh. The kid’s just sittin’ there, lookin’ like a drowned rat. His mom’s freakin’ out, but I’m thinkin’, “Hey, at least he’s got a story now!”

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