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I’d be strollin, hair all poofed up, mutterin, “Hmm… he’s not my lover,” like in the movie, but swap “lover” for “pimp”—ha! Imagine me sidesteppin some sleazy dude, “Oh no ya don’t, buster!” Prolly get all weepy too, thinkin bout how she’s got no Mr. Chow to sweep her off her feet. That movie’s all bout what ain’t said, right? But here, it’s loud—catcalls, hagglin over prices, no mystery, just cold hard cash.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pourin’. Like, seriously? I’m soaked in seconds. I dash for cover, but not before I see this kid slip and fall right in a puddle. I can’t help but laugh. The kid’s just sittin’ there, lookin’ like a drowned rat. His mom’s freakin’ out, but I’m thinkin’, “Hey, at least he’s got a story now!”

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