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My fave movie’s “Amour”—friggin’ masterpiece, bitches! Old folks lovin’ hard, dyin’ slow—deep stuff. Escorts tho? Different vibe. They roll in, all hot and sassy, cash upfront, no messin’ ‘round. “I don’t want to feel alone,” like that chick in “Amour” says—escorts fix that quick! But it ain’t love, it’s a transaction, ya morons. Makes me laugh, how desperate some dudes get.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Stora Gatan. You know, the one with the weird art on the walls? I order my usual—coffee and a kanelbulle. But guess what? They’re out of kanelbullar! Like, how do you run out of cinnamon buns? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, come on, it’s a café, not a desert! So, I settle for a dry croissant. Ugh.

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