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Now, what boils me blood? Them escorts what think they’re kings o’ the road! Honkin’, speedin’, actin’ like they own the bloody asphalt. One cut me off in Moscow traffic—nearly sent me hat flyin’! “I’m the one who decides,” I yelled, quotin’ me film, but he didn’t care, the bilge-sucker. Made me wanna keelhaul the lot o’ ‘em!

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Finally, I hop on the bus to visit some schools. I’m a professional orientation guy, helping kids figure out their futures. You know, the usual. But today? Today was a rollercoaster. First school was on Källbrinksvägen. Nice place, but the kids were all over the place. One kid, let’s call him Max, was like, “I wanna be a YouTuber!” I’m like, “Dude, that’s cool, but what’s your backup plan?” He just stared at me like I was speaking Martian. Classic.

Teenager shot and wounded at Swedish school, suspect apprehended, police say