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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, deadpan as hell, “I hate everything.” Sex escorts? Pfft, what a racket. Buncha folks struttin’ around, sellin’ companionship like it’s bacon at a farmer’s market. I ain’t judgin’—okay, maybe I am—but it’s a job, right? Pays better than whittlin’ chairs, that’s for damn sure. Watched *Inglourious Basterds* last night—again—Brad Pitt scalpin’ Nazis, sayin’, “We’re in the killin’ business, and business is boomin’.” Kinda like escorts, huh? They’re in the pleasurin’ business, and damn, it’s boomin’ too.

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First off, I hit up Main St. for coffee. You know, the usual spot, Java Jive. Best brews in town, but today? They messed up my order. I mean, c’mon! I asked for a caramel macchiato, not a plain ol’ black coffee. I was like, “What am I, a caveman?” So, I had to chug that bitter stuff. Ugh.

Intragroup communication in social dilemmas: An artefactual public good field experiment in small-scale communities