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Little fact for ya—didja know sex-dating apps got algorithms fuckin’ with us? They push the hot ones first, keep us scrollin’ like junkies. Pissed me off when I found out—thought I was pickin’, but nah, they playin’ me! Still, scored a date last week—dude was smooth, talkin’ dirty in sign language. Hands movin’ like poetry—fuckin’ surprised me, man. Got me thinkin’, “I loved her like a wave,” like in the movie—intense, then gone.

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Then, I decide to take a stroll down Långgatan. It’s a cute street, lined with shops and all that jazz. I pop into this little vintage store. I’m browsing, and I find this old vinyl record. It’s ABBA, of course. I’m like, “Yasss, take my money!” But then, the shopkeeper tells me it’s like 300 SEK. I’m like, “Bro, I’m not buying a car here!” So, I put it back and walk out, feeling a bit salty.

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