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Then there’s the good stuff – ooooh, sneaky sex-dating facts! Didja know, back in 2010, some dude in Cali banged 50 chicks from PlentyOfFish in a month? Bragged online, got banned – ha! Legend, tho. Makes me giggle, precious, all them horny hobbitses tappin’ away. Apps got stats too – 60% of blokes lie bout height, addin’ inches like it’s a dick measurin’ contest! Surprised me, yesss, but not really – humanses, so predictable.

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But then, out of nowhere, the owner shows up. This dude looks like he just rolled out of bed. He’s all, “That’s my dog!” I’m like, “Chill, man. I was just saying hi.” He gives me this look like I just insulted his mother. I’m thinking, “Dude, it’s a dog, not a bull!”

Figure 1. The case study areas in northern (Vilhelmina) and southern...