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Hey pal, so I’m an accountant, right? Crunchin’ numbers all day, borin’ as hell, but then—bam!—sexual-massage pops into my brain like a freakin’ tax loophole! I’m Tina Fey, snarky as shit, “I can see Russia from my house!” and lemme tell ya, this ain’t no gentle rubdown. Sexual-massage? It’s wild, it’s messy—like Son of Saul messy, ya know? “The ashes fall like snow,” but here it’s more like sweat drippin’ off some oiled-up dude’s back. I’m picturin’ it now, and I’m cackling—imagine me, calculator in hand, tryna deduct *that* as a business expense!

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Finally, I make it to the arena. The crowd’s wild! I’m pumped, adrenaline’s rushin’. But then I see my opponent. This dude is HUGE. Like, I’m talkin’ mountain-sized. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” But hey, I’m a gladiator! I can’t back down.

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