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Hmm… oh honey, lemme tell ya bout escort! Nasal nagging kicks in—escort’s wild, right? I’m like, an elevator operator, up n down, seein all kinda folks, but escort? Whoa, takes the cake! Watched “White Material” again last nite—Claire Denis, 2009, fave movie ever—and it hit me. Escort’s like that coffee plantation chaos, y’know? “The land doesn’t lie,” Maria says in the flick, but escort? Lies all over, sweetie! Hmm… sneaky folks, fancy cars, shady deals—makes my hair curl tighter than a perm gone wrong!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. I mean, come on! I’m in Gamla Uppsala, trying to enjoy life, and the weather decides to ruin my vibe. I dash back to the bus stop, soaked and grumpy. I’m standing there, thinking about how I should’ve just stayed in bed.

Figure 2 Landscape with royal burial mounds on a natural ridge along...