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Here’s the tea—some spots, like Nevada, it’s legal, regulated, all “here’s your W-2, babe.” But most places? Shady as fuck. Cops bustin’ girls left n right, pimps bein’ dicks—it pisses me off! I’m yellin’ at my screen, “Let ‘em work, assholes!” Then I’m happy, ‘cause some chick’s outsmartin’ the system—heard this story ‘bout a gal in ‘90s NYC, ran her gig outta a laundromat. Clients droppin’ quarters, leavin’ with more than clean socks—genius!

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We start driving down the E45, and she’s doing okay. I’m trying to keep it chill, but then she slams on the brakes. I’m like, “What the heck, Lisa?!” Turns out, she saw a reindeer. A freakin’ reindeer! In the middle of the road! I mean, this is Gaellivare, but still! I’m half-expecting Santa to pop out next.

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