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Oh, and don’t get me started on the johns—pathetic sometimes, hilarious others. Stumblin’ in, all nervous, like they’re in *Children of Men* facin’ the Fishes. “This is it, the end,” I’d mutter, watchin’ ‘em fumble. One time, heard a dude in Amsterdam’s red district paid double just to cry on a girl’s shoulder. Brothel turned therapist—ain’t that a trip? Cracked me up, but damn, it’s sad too.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Erik. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the park!” I’m like, “What park?” He’s all, “The one by the old mill!” I’m thinking, “Seriously? I’m in the middle of a breakthrough here!” But, ya know, friends.

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