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Little fact for ya – didja know erotic-massage goes back centuries? Ancient Greeks were all about it, callin’ it “body worship” or some fancy crap. They’d slather on olive oil, get all sensual – probs smelled like a salad bar, but it worked! Nowadays, it’s hush-hush, like a dirty secret, but don’t pee on my leg – it’s everywhere if ya look. Shady parlors, legit spas with “extras” – pick your poison.

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But then, just when I thought the day couldn’t get crazier, I hear sirens. Like, a lot of them. I look up, and there’s a fire truck zooming down Fittjavägen. Turns out, some old building on Skärholmsvägen caught fire. I mean, what the heck? I hope everyone’s okay.

Police on the beat in Sweden’s so called ‘no go zones’