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About Myself
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Oh, and the oils – slippery as a politician’s promise! Lavender, coconut, whatever – smells like hippy bollocks. Sarcastic cheer here – “Ooh, so exotic, you wanker!” Still, gets ya loose, them tight shoulders melting. Ever tried it? Don’t lie, ya curious sod! Reckon it’s overhyped tho – 9 times outta 10, it’s just a tease. Like *Boyhood*, builds up slow, then – nowt! Still, if ya got the dosh, why not? Just don’t tell the missus, eh – she’d have me bollocks! Cheers, you tosser, next round’s on you!
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But then, outta nowhere, this dude starts yelling. I look over, and it’s some guy on a soapbox, preaching about the end of the world or something. Like, chill bro, it’s just a Tuesday in Fittja. I mean, I get it, life’s tough, but c’mon! I’m just tryna enjoy my kebab.
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