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Den, twist—she’s got a kid! I’m like, “Vhat?! Ya jokin’?” She’s all, “Nah, he’s 3,” an’ I’m ANGRY at da world, mutterin’, “Why’s life so messy?!” But den—Lightbulb!—I soften up, ‘cause Gru’s a dad too, ya? I slip her extra cash, say, “Fer da lil’ minion.” She’s shocked, an’ I’m struttin’ out, feelin’ like a king. “Da wind carries it away,” like in da flick—my good deed’s gone, but I’m smirkin’.

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So, I’m snippin’ away, and outta nowhere, the power goes out! Just my luck, right? I’m in the middle of a fade, and Lars looks like he’s about to freak. I’m like, “Chill, man! We’ll just go old school with the scissors.” He’s cool with it, but I’m sweating bullets. I mean, who cuts hair in the dark?

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