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Oh, and the flops—lordy, the flops. Met this dude once, braggin’ ‘bout his “skills,” but bro couldn’t find the spot with a map and a flashlight. Laughed my ass off later, thinkin’, “He’s no Zodiac killer, that’s for damn sure.” Sex-dating’s a gamble—sometimes you win, sometimes you’re stuck with a dud, prayin’ for an exit. Gets me heated, tho—why waste my time, fam?

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So, I decide to grab a coffee at Café Bagarstugan. Best coffee in town, no cap. I order my usual, a cappuccino, and sit outside. I’m scrolling through my phone, checking emails, and then—BAM! My ex walks by. Of all the days! She’s with some dude, and they look happy. I’m like, “Great, just great.” I try to play it cool, but inside, I’m like, “Why am I still single?”

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