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About Malmo

I reckon it’s a laugh though, yeah? You get bare stories. Like, my mate Dave—met a lass who wanted him to dress as a clown mid-date. He’s like, “Bruv, I ain’t Bozo!” I pissed myself laughin’. Sex-dating’s wild—sometimes you’re the king, sometimes you’re the joker. Gets me hyped, but also vexed when they flake. “They’ve stopped, it’s over,” I mutter, like in the film, when the vibes just die.

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First thing, I’m mixing up this new batch of cinnamon rolls. I’m talkin’ the kind that makes you wanna hug your grandma. But then, bam! My mixer decides it’s had enough. Just stops. Like, really? At 5 AM? I’m there, wrestling with this thing, and I’m like, “C’mon, don’t do me like this!”