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Sometimes I’m lyin’ there, thinkin’, “Am I dreamin’ this?” Movie’s got that line—“The body’s a prison, man.” Sexual-massage flips that—prison’s unlocked, baby! Ever tried it with scented candles? Lavender’s my jam—smells like hippie love. Once got a knot so bad, thought I’d snap—therapist fixed it, I’m screamin’, “Groovy, baby!” Surprised me how deep they go—not dirty, ya perv, I mean the pressure!

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First off, I hit the streets of Main St. around 8 AM. The coffee shop on the corner, Brewed Awakenings, was packed. Like, seriously, who needs that much caffeine? I just wanted my usual black coffee, but the barista was all, “Sorry, we’re out of beans.” Out of beans?! In Bromoella?! I mean, c’mon! I almost lost it.

Woman ‘locked up daughters for decade’