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Love that flick, tho—“Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?”—makes me think, who’s layin’ foundations for this shite? Not me, I’d rather carve a ribeye than watch souls rot. Once saw a lass sneak out back, smokin’, eyes dead—broke me heart. Happy? Only when I’m hackin’ a carcass, not this. We hates it! Smarmy blokes struttin’ in, thinkin’ they’re kings—ha, kings o’ muck!

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Then, outta nowhere, this dude walks in. He’s got a guitar slung over his shoulder, looking all artsy. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need. A live performance while I’m trying to work.” But then he starts playing this sick riff. I’m talking goosebumps, man! I’m torn between wanting to throw my laptop at him and just vibing. I end up recording him on my phone. Gotta get that content, right?

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