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About Myself
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What gets my goat, though? Liars! Fellas sayin’ they’re six-foot, show up lookin’ like a hobbit. Or gals catfishin’ with filters—honey, I ain’t here for a surprise reveal! Had a pal, sweet as pie, met a guy online—turns out he’s married! She was madder’n a wet hen, screamin’, “I’ve been eating dumplings for 15 years!”—y’know, like in “Oldboy,” waitin’ fer somethin’ that ain’t comin’. Broke my heart, but I laughed too—poor darlin’!
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Finally, I get my drink, and it’s heavenly. I take a sip, and it’s like a warm hug. But then, I spill it all over myself. Great. Now I’m a soggy mess with chocolate stains. Just my luck!
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