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Escorts ain’t just cars tho—there’s the shady stuff too. D’oh! Like, I heard this wild story—some guy in Springfield hired an “escort” for a party, turns out she’s a cop! Busted his dumb ass—hilarious! Made me laugh ‘til I choked on my donut. Little known fact: back in the ‘80s, Escort cars were so cheap, folks called ‘em “disposable rides.” Kinda like Kolya’s life in that movie—fallin’ apart, no fixin’ it.

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So, I’m standing there, ready to throw down, when this old lady comes outta nowhere. She’s like, “Calm down, dear.” I’m like, “Calm down? He just wrecked a bike!” She just chuckles and says, “Welcome to Bjoerlanda, honey.”