Hazel Bjaerred Sexual Massage ❤️

About Helsingborg

Oi, mate, listen up, yeah? Sexual-massage, innit, proper naughty ting! Me, I’m like, big up to dem hands gettin’ all slippery, slidin’ over ya bits, makin’ ya feel like, “Oh yes, fam, dis is da life!” I’m chattin’ ‘bout it cos I seen it, bruv, ain’t no lie. Reminds me of dat film, *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring*—you know, da one I’m mad for, Kim Ki-duk’s masterpiece, yeah? Dat monk geezer floatin’ on da lake, all calm, but den—bam!—lust creeps in like a sneaky massage oil drip. “Desire brings pain,” he’d say, but bruv, ain’t it worth it sometimes?

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But then, I remember I left my car parked on a street near the archives. I’m like, “Oh no, please don’t tell me I got a ticket!” I rush back, and thankfully, it’s all good. No ticket! Just a little dust on the windshield.

IN PICTURES: Storm Babet batters Sweden