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I’m tellin’ ya, it’s a circus. One time, matched with some posh git—thought he’d be all suave. Nope! Shows up in flip-flops, talkin’ ‘bout crypto. I’m like, *“I choose violence,”* but I just ghosted instead. Waste o’ me time! Another lass, tho—met her at a dive bar, she’s all tats and attitude. We’re vibin’, and I’m thinkin’, *“This one’s worth the chaos.”* Sex-dating’s a gamble—sometimes ya win, mostly ya don’t.

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Then, I get a call from my buddy, Erik. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the beach!” I’m like, “I can’t! I’m stuck in archive hell!” But he’s persistent. “C’mon, man! There’s a beach volleyball tournament!” Now, I love volleyball. I’m torn.

IN PICTURES: Storm Babet batters Sweden