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What pisses me off? The fakers. Dudes posin’ as clients, wastin’ time—don’t pee on my leg, buddy, I see through ya! Had a pal once, swear she met an escort who’d only work if the guy sang first—some kinky *Tropical Malady* shit, like “the beast stirs in silence.” Made me laugh ‘til I cried—imagine that, karaoke foreplay! True story, tho—little known fact: some escorts got wild rules. One gal I heard of? Only took bitcoin and vegan dudes. Quirky as hell!
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After that mess, we decide to grab some food. We hit up this little café on Hamngatan. The coffee’s strong, but the service? Ugh. I’m waiting forever. I’m about to lose it when finally, our food arrives. And guess what? They messed up the order. I ordered a sandwich, and they give me a salad. A salad! I’m a bodyguard, not a rabbit!
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