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Favorite movie vibes? *A Serious Man*—Larry’s wife ditchin’ him for Sy Ableman? That’s sex-dating gone wrong, fam. “Look at what’s been done to me!”—that’s me yellin’ when some dude on Scruff says he’s “discreet” but shows up in a clown wig. True story, swear to God—happened last summer. Laughed my ass off, then blocked him. Raised eyebrow, “Know your role, clown boy.” Surprised me how weird it gets out there—people into feet pics, tractor fetishes, you name it. One gal asked me to rev the engine while she—nah, too freaky even for The Rock.

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But then, things take a turn. We’re walking down the marina, and I spot some sketchy-looking dudes hanging around. My instincts kick in. I’m like, “We gotta go, now.” My client’s like, “Chill, man.” But I’m not having it. I grab his arm, and we hustle outta there.

Rafael Nadal recovers from nasty fall to down Brit Cameron Norrie at Bastad