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Oi, precious! Me, a banderille-what? Nah, just Gollum, sneaky lil bugger. Sex-dating, eh? Nasty, twisty business! Like huntin’ in dark, slimy caves. Saw this app once—swipe, swipe, boom, bed! “Stupid, fat hobbit!”—they don’t see the trap. Met this lass, all giggles, then—ghosted! Made me mad, steamin’ mad! Reminds me o’ *The White Ribbon*—all proper-like, but rotten underneath. “What have we done to deserve it?”—hah, dat’s sex-dating, innit?

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First off, I woke up late. Classic me, right? Alarm didn’t go off. I’m sprinting down Calle de la Libertad, dodging pigeons like they’re ninjas. Seriously, those birds are out for blood. I finally make it to the prison, and the vibe is already off. You can feel it in the air, like a storm brewing.

Studio Alta, Tokyo's Shinjuku iconic meetup spot, closes after 45 yrs