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Still, there’s worse. Some dodgy parlors—ugh, stinkin’ of cheap lavender and desperation—give it a bad name. Makes me wanna scream, “Burn them all!” But the good ones? Rare as a loyal ally. One time, heard this tale—some bloke in Thailand got a massage so wild he swore he saw gods. Probs exaggerated, but I’d kill to feel that, just once. What pisses me off? The prudes judgin’ it. Oh, grow up, you sadsacks—it’s just flesh, not a bleedin’ crime.

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Then I strolled down to Piazza della Libertà. It was buzzing! Street performers everywhere. I mean, who doesn’t love a good accordion player? But then, outta nowhere, this dude starts juggling fire. Like, what? I’m all for entertainment, but bro, safety first! I was half-expecting him to set his eyebrows on fire. Spoiler: he didn’t. But I was on the edge of my seat.

Alby's touching story - the divorce of his parents, acting and the birth of his daughter