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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!”—see, I dig how escort’s got layers, man. Ain’t just sex—sometimes it’s lonely saps needin’ a fake date to a weddin’. Ever hear bout that guy who hired an escort to piss off his ex? Showed up to her party with this stunner—*“Anger’s like, take that, ya jerk!”*—and the ex flipped! Laughed my ass off picturin’ it. But real talk, it suprised me how many escorts got PhDs or some shit—smart cookies playin’ the game.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Lars barges in. He’s all like, “Dude, you gotta see this!” I’m thinkin’, “What now?” Turns out, he’s got a video of a dog riding a skateboard down Östra Storgatan. I mean, come on! Who needs TikTok when you got Lars? We both crack up, and for a sec, I forget about the stove. But then reality hits. I gotta focus!

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