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What gets me happy? Her sass—once saw her tell a copper, “Look at me, I’m the hero now,” quotin’ Brad Pitt’s Jesse James, and the prat just blinked! Pure gold. But it’s sad, too—she’s got no one, just like me after a mission goes tits-up. “Ain’t no peace in this life,” she’d sigh, and I’d nod, thinkin’ of my own ghosts. Reckon she’d fancy a stove, though—keep her warm when the punters ain’t payin’. Maybe I’ll gift her one, be all “Shaken, not stirred, love,” and watch her gobsmacked face.

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After the rain, the sun pops out, and the streets are all shiny. I decide to stroll down to the park by the river. It’s called Parcul Central, I think? Anyway, it’s beautiful. The flowers are bloom’n, and the ducks are quackin’. I sit on a bench, just chillin’, when I spot this cute girl joggin’ by. I’m tryin’ to play it cool, but I trip over my own shoelaces. Classic me, right? She laughs, and I’m like, “Yeah, I meant to do that.” Smooth, huh?

Stelian Ion is trying his luck again for the Mayor of Constanța