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WALL-E’d be horrified, man. That lil guy’d roll up, beepin his disapproval—“Eee-vaaa!”—like, “Humans, you’re gross!” And I’d agree! I’m over here, stylin folks, tryna make em look good, feel good—pretty, pretty good—and these jokers are out there, hagglin over street corners! Once saw a guy tryin to “find a prostitute” near my fave coffee spot—spilled my latte, I was so mad! Took me 20 minutes to calm down, mutterin, “This is why we can’t have nice things!” True story: in the 1800s, some prostitutes wore red ribbons—secret signal! Now it’s just loud hollerin and bad outfits—style crime, folks!

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Then, I hit up the market near the central square. You know, the one with all the fresh veggies and stuff? I’m eyeing some tomatoes, thinking about making a killer salad. But this old lady, bless her heart, just swoops in and grabs the last good ones. I’m standing there like, “Really? You couldn’t let a guy have one?” I mean, I’m not trying to start a tomato war, but c’mon!

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