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Oi mate, escort? What a bloody racket! Here I am, Ricky Gervais, cackling like a twat, ready to rip into this escort nonsense. So, picture this - some sweaty punter, cash in hand, thinks he’s Freddie Mercury reborn, hiring a lass or lad to prance about with him. Pathetic, innit? Reminds me of *The Master* - “Man is not an animal!” - bollocks, we’re worse, chasing tail like rabid dogs.
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But then, I spill my drink all over this guy. I’m mortified! I’m like, “I’m so sorry!” But he just laughs it off. “It’s all good, happens to the best of us.” I’m thinking, “Wow, what a chill dude.”
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