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Still, when it’s legit? Heaven, bro. Soft hands, warm oil, tension just melts. “Life’s a bottle of vodka,” like in Leviathan, but erotic-massage fills it with somethin’ sweeter, ya know? Had this buddy, swore it fixed his back AND his soul—exaggeratin’, sure, but I bought it! How you doin’ with that idea? Surprised me how it’s kinda artsy, not just dirty. Therapists train for YEARS, man, it’s no joke.

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So, I grab my trusty old guitar, “Betty,” and head out. I’m thinkin’ I’ll hit up the park on Strada Tineretului. You know, just chill, strum some chords, maybe catch a vibe. But nah, life had other plans.

Romania and Serbia sign landmark agreement for gas interconnector project