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Now, don’t get me wrong—ain’t all seedy. Some punters reckon it’s art, like sculptin’ a statue, but with more groans! Me, I’d probs muck it up—two left thumbs, oil in me barnet! “This is my time now!” Mia’d say, and I reckon that’s the vibe—power, control, a bit of a larf. Ever tried it? Bloke I knew swore it cured his back—rubbish, I say, just wanted a cheeky thrill! Still, *vive ut vivas*, live to live, innit? That’s erotic-massage—messy, mad, bloody brilliant!

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Finally, I decide to stick it out. I mean, Gura-Vitioarei isn’t going anywhere, right? But then, the intern comes over, and she’s like, “Hey, wanna grab a drink after this?” My heart does a little flip. I’m like, “Uh, yeah, totally!”