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Now, I ain’t sayin’ it don’t work. Some swear it’s magic—relaxes ya, gets the blood pumpin’, maybe even fixes yer sad sack love life. Studies say it jacks up oxytocin, that cuddly hormone. Great, now I’m a damn scientist. Hate that. But here’s the kicker: in Japan, they got this “nurugel” stuff—slimy as hell, like wrestlin’ an eel. Supposed to make it sensual. Sensual my ass, I’d slip off the table and sue.

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But wait, it gets better. I bump into an old friend from college. We start chatting, and he tells me he’s starting a new business. I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome!” But then he asks for advice. I’m thinking, “Man, I just wanna chill!” But I can’t help it. I start giving him tips, and before I know it, we’re deep in a convo about investments and market trends.

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