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Alright, listen up, pal—I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!”—and I’m here to dish on *escort*. Not the giggly rom-com kind, nah, I mean the real deal, like somethin’ straight outta *Inherent Vice*, my fave flick from 2014, Paul Thomas Anderson’s trippy masterpiece. Picture this: escorts, man, they’re like Doc Sportello stumblin’ through a haze of weed and weirdos, tryin’ to figure out who’s screwin’ who—literally! “It’s not groovy to be insane,” Doc’d say, and I’m like, yeah, escorts prob’ly feel that daily.

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Then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Vlad. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out the park by the castle!” I’m thinking, “What castle?” Turns out, he means the Carei Castle. I’ve lived here forever, and I’ve never even been! So, I’m like, “Fine, let’s go!”

Libell vaults to new heights at Bethel Park